Dr. Meinheimer (January 2014)

Dr. Meinheimer 2014 was the sixth Dr. Meinheimer event, held on January 3, 2014. The show was highlighted by J-Pac putting the WWE Championship on the line in an Ultimate Survivors match where his opponents would be determined based on the winning captains of the Dr. Meinheimer elimination matches, as well as Sheamus defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Rob Van Dam and Razor Ramon in a Triple Threat TLC match.

Background
The J-Pac and Carlito rivalry has become one of the most fierce of the year, and the title is sour cream and chives away from being served at a steak house. At Dr. Meinheimer, Carlito and numerous others will have the opportunity to challenge for the WWE Championship in a 6-man Ultimate Survivors match. Throughout the evening, five traditional Dr. Meinheimer elimination tag matches will take place. Each captain that leads his team to victory will find himself entered in this elimination championship contest. Will one of the five challengers make the most of this golden opportunity or will the self-appointed Year of J-Pac end with his biggest victory yet?

After Sheamus revealed himself to be the masked roofier at There Are No Cats In America, he drew the attention of many critics. None, however, were more outraged than Rob Van Dam. RVD was infuriated that someone would use drugs for personal gain rather than for recreational use. Sheamus told "Arse-VD" that if he kept using fightin' words than he'd end up in a fight. On top of this, due to the circumstances surrounding Razor Ramon's initial World Heavyweight Title shot, he would be entitled to another rematch for the belt. Later on, RVD was stretching his hamstring and GROIN atop two ladders when the dastardly Sheamus set a table and prepared to push Van Dam through it. Just in the nick of time, Razor stepped in and chased Sheamus away with a chair. Even though RVD, whose mental condition at the time led him to believe he could fly, managed to plummet through the table regardless shortly after the fact. Seeing as these competitors have taken a liking to such hardware, the World Heavyweight Championship will be placed on the line at Dr. Meinheimer in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match.

DEFAULT, discouraged by his loss against Brock Lesnar, decided that it was perhaps time for him to refocus his attention on winning championship gold. Walter agreed to let DEFAULT battle for a shot at the WWE Championship at Dr. Meinheimer, despite his poor record for the year, but made it so he would have to get through Brock Lesnar and Team WPW. On top of this, Walter issued a statement regarding the use of DEFAULT's Funny-5. He ruled that the maneuver was far too dangerous and officially banned it. However, Brock Lesnar's F-5 and hold where he literally breaks the guy's arm remain legal. To take on WPW, DEFAULT recruited two men who would certainly like a chance to stick it to Walter: Goldust and Count Out. It will be DEFAULT's Presets taking on Team WPW starring Brock Lesnar. Can DEFAULT finally overcome the oppression of his father or will a WPW member find his way into a championship opportunity once again?

At There Are No Cats In America, Dynamite Derek and Super Sheik earned themselves an opportunity to challenge for the World Tag Team Championship. Many believe that this was party due to the assistance of newest member The Red Head. At Dr. Meinheimer, The Justice Bros were scheduled to unite to battle against the team of Carlito and recent rivals Feel the Burn in a traditional Dr. Meinheimer elimination match. Depending on which team wins, either Dynamite Derek or Carlito will advance to the WWE Championship match. Originally, The Hurricane was scheduled to join his caped companions in this effort. Unfortunately, he was involved in an accident that rendered him unable to compete. Dynamite felt that this would be the perfect chance for The Red Head to finally prove himself as a full-fledged member of the team. So with that, Team Justice Bros will battle it out with Team Cool Burn at Dr. Meinheimer. Which team will survive and which captain will earn the opportunity to be the Ultimate Survivor?

Despite the name of WPW's newest member, only one man can truly claim to be unstoppable this year: Vigo the Carpathian. Since defeating The Undertaker and infusing with him, Vigo has plowed through three of the most powerful forces in the universe. At Dr. Meinheimer, Ultimate Warrior will lead a team into battle consisting of his fellow Vigo victims. Vigo, on the other hand, proclaimed that he has the power of more than three mortals and refused to team with anyone. Due to this decision, this match will be contested as a one fall to a finish handicap match with either Ultimate Warrior or Vigo advancing to the WWE Championship Ultimate Survivors match. Will Team World's Largest Warriors mange to finally put Vigo's streak to rest or will the Cruel Carpathian find himself in his first ever championship match?

Ricardo Diaz, in an attempt to reason with his former partner Kingpin, ended up having hundreds of pounds (yet only 2% body fat) crash upon him and issue a defeat. At Dr. Meinheimer, redemption is out the window. The only focus on the minds of these two crimelords is earning themselves a place in the WWE Championship match. Y2Jindrak were embarrassed at the hands of The Pranksters at There Are No Cats In America and intend on paying them back in this Tornado-style Elimination match-up. Adding fuel to the fire, The Pranksters plan on turning the WWE Tag Team Champions' Christmas into Pranksgiving (find out more in December's issue of It's a Very SvR06 Christmas 3: Walter's White Christmas). Will The Kingpin earn a shot to add a new piece of jewelry to his royal collection or will the King of Coke 'blow' through the competition on his way to the top of the mountain?

Josh the Cat shocked everyone when he returned, presumably from the netherworld. After marking his territory on the ring it was clear that he was back to stay, bringing joy to all of those fans wearing "Meow!" shirts and carrying "No cat, no sale" signs. This didn't sit too well with the new United States Champion, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who was disgusted that more people cared about Josh's animal antics than his impressive title victory. Macho Man felt that his victory made him the obvious #1 contender for J-Pac's WWE Championship. Josh the Cat had other ideas, suggesting that he'd be the purrfect champion. In fact, he may change the name of the belt to the WWE Cat-pionship. So naturally, these two will lead teams to determine who will earn their spot in the WWE Title match. It will be Team Ferocious Felines taking on Team Savages of Wall Street in a Tables Elimination match. Will Macho Man drop the elbow on the Catnip Kid's dream of being a champion or will Josh the Cat snap into his adversary like a new scratching post?

Results
Before Dr. Meinheimer went live, Walter P. Wiley was wished the best in his future endeavors. Everyone was informed that the rule book was consulted and that the clause read that in the case of an emergency, a very specific interim commissioner would be appointed. It was said that we would find out who this new commissioner is by the end of the night.

Kicking things off, Josh the Cat’s Ferocious Felines took on The Savages of Wall Street in a Tables match. The furred friends look strong in the early going of the contest, managing to get JBL through a table in the early going. However, Macho Man and DCR fought back to eliminate Tiger, Josh the Cat, and Booker T, earning Savage a spot in the Ultimate Survivors match for later on.

Next up, Vigo looked to continue his streak and earn a WWE Title shot in a 3-on-1 Handicap match. Despite the old adage of strength in numbers, Ultimate Warrior, Big Show, and Chewbacca still couldn’t match for force of the crafty Carpathian. In the end, the match lost total control and all four men were counted out. Due to this result, neither Vigo nor Warrior will enter the Ultimate Survivors match and the no contest result will keep Vigo’s streak alive for yet another day.

In his first official match, The Red Head joined Team Justice Bros to take on Team Cool Burn in a standard Elimination Tag match. After taking out every adversary in his sight, Red Head headed backstage. Dynamite Derek left the match as well to go track down his partner. Super Sheik was infuriated that his partners left him high and dry, but didn’t have much time to be mad as he was beaten to a pulp by Carlito, Kane Paul, and Coach D. Carlito would advance to the Ultimate Survivors match, an occurrence that doesn’t sit too well with some of the dirtsheets.

In a Tornado Tag Elimination match, The Kingpin and Y2Jindrak battled it out with Ricardo Diaz and The Pranksters, who appeared dressed as Vice City natives Tommy Vercetti and Lance Vance. This chaotic battle saw the referee become physically involved on numerous occasions, but ended up with Ricardo Diaz’s team standing victorious.

In the final tag team elimination match of the evening, Team WPW starring Brock Lesnar took on DEFAULT’s Presets. Count Out, naturally, was counted out and Goldust was eliminated shortly thereafter. DEFAULT, with his finishing maneuver ban still being carried out, was left to fend for himself against three hard-hitting opponents. With all of the strength and ability he had, he fought back to eliminate both Tajiri and Wrestler: Unstoppable. It didn’t take long, however, for Brock to hoist DEFAULT up for the F-5 and defeat him yet again.

As if this show couldn’t get any more chaotic, Sheamus placed his World Heavyweight Championship on the line against bitter rival Razor Ramon and RVD. The mayhem that transpired in this match would likely have to be seen to be believed. Whether it be RVD hitting a frogsplash on Sheamus through a table or Sheamus launching Razor from a table to the Spanish announce table, this one was off the hook from beginning to end. As Sheamus and RVD traded blows on top of a ladder, Ramon capitalized by toppling the ladder over and sending RVD crashing to the floor below. He then pinned Sheamus to become the new World Heavyweight Champion after an effort that left him unable to walk out on his own strength.

With that, the stage was set for the WWE Championship Ultimate Survivors match. J-Pac would put his title on the line against “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Carlito, Ricardo Diaz, and Brock Lesnar. Ricardo Diaz was the first to go, at the gloved hands of Brock. As Macho Man and J-Pac battled it out, Carlito and Lesnar took advantage and simultaneously eliminated the two. With this, a new champion was guaranteed. It would either be Carlito or Brock Lesnar. J-Pac attempted to cost Lesnar the bout, but Macho Man wasn’t finished with Pac. The two duked it out as Lesnar finished off Carlito to become the new WWE Champion. Brock celebrated this feat, turning the worst week for WPW into one of their best. As the show was coming to a close, a voice rang throughout the arena. The voice of the new interim commissioner of SvR06. He felt that he could only describe Brock’s actions this evening with one word: “Turrible.”