Diaz's Fuck Fest VII

Diaz's Fuck Fest VII was the seventh edition of the biggest event in SvR06. It was held on April 24, 2011. The main attractions of the show consisted of WWE Champion J-Pac defending the title against 2011 Laugh Like Pee-wee winner Disco Drew, World Heavyweight Champion Bret Hart putting the gold on the line against Walter P. Wiley, Dynamite Derek teaming up with Perfect Ben and Shelton Benjamin to take on members of Fame, Honor, Fortune, & Glory for a spot in the main event, and Ricardo Diaz teaming with a mystery partner to challenge Chris Benoit and Heidenreich for the World Tag Team Championship.

Background
In the main event of Diaz's Fuck Fest VII it will be cloudy with a chance of Derek as the Disco King challenges J-Pac for the WWE Championship. However, if Dynamite Derek's team win the 6-man tag match earlier in the evening, he will also be included, as well as bringing Pac Rules to an end.

After swindling a victory in the Elimination Chamber, Walter P. Wiley has earned himself a World Heavyweight Championship match against everyone's favorite uncle, Bret Hart, at Diaz's Fuck Fest VII. Walter has targeted Hart for months and we will finally get to see these two go head to head at the Fest.

There is more than just pride on the line in this huge tag team elimination match. Dynamite Derek will lead a team featuring his partner, Perfect Ben, as well as Shelton Benjamin, whose mother Derek has recently had "encounters" with. They will take on the team of Nathan DiBiase, Ted DiBiase, and Ric Flair. If Dynamite Derek's team can manage a victory then he will earn himself a spot in the WWE Championship match against Disco King and J-Pac as well as bring Pac Rules to an end.

Ricardo Diaz has said that he is tired of HeiBenoit holding the tag team titles, since they will be champions for an entire year come June. Just as he has done in the past, Diaz promises to provide a huge shocker for the event held in his honor. This time, he will bring a mystery opponent at the World Tag Team Champions. Many people are speculating who it could be. His top customer Charlie Sheen perhaps? Only time will tell. But one thing is for certain. With the King of Coke involved it is guaranteed to be a match fit for a king.

Just when everyone had thought that the biggest show in history couldn't get any more enormous, it was announced today that Scott Hall will face off with The Undertaker in the final showdown in the Battle of the Beer. As we all know, prior to a 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match years back, Scott Hall drank all the beer and left none for The Undertaker. This led to a grudge that would never be brought to an end. It even led to Scott Hall's untimely demise, being thrown out of a plane by Taker and eaten by a starving Captain Charisma in the desert. But this time, it all comes to an end. Two men. One ring. One beer.

Out of the blue, Chris Jericho and "Macho Man" Randy Savage materialized and fell from the sky. They haven't been seen since they were sucked into a cross-dimensional portal during the Laugh Like Pee-wee match back in January. Jericho was apparently furious after having to put up with Macho Man for the past few months while trapped within the alternate dimension, noting that he wouldn't stop making grunting noises and smelt of Slim Jims. Macho Man didn't approve of what Jericho had to say and issued him a challenge for the Fest with his Intercontinental title on the line.

Four opponents will go all out at Diaz's Fuck Fest VII in the Money in the Bank Ladder match. The winner receives a contract that states they may have a title opportunity at any time while a referee is present. Tajiri, Booker T, Ultimate Warrior, and Coach D will all fight it out for the right to win this rich prize at the Creepy Uncle of them All, Diaz's Fuck Fest.

After losing the WWE Tag Team Championship at Fist Fuck Yourself!, Blue Meanie was extremely distraught. Making matters worse, the first person he saw backstage was none other than the Iron Sheik. Sheik called Meanie a faggot and said that "everybody know I the rrrreal blue guy! I eh eh dance bettah than you fat!", which Sheik followed up with clucking like a chicken and circling Meanie. Being a Philadelphia native, Meanie challenged Sheiky Baby to a match at Diaz's Fuck Fest VII. The Scott Hall Classic, a Paddy's Pub Pumble. This match will be contested within Paddy's Pub in Philly with Frank Reynolds standing in as referee. Sheik promised that he will rape Meanie with a Beck's beer bottle. When Michael Cole told Sheik that this was bizarre, he proceeded to put Cole in the Camel Clutch and raped him with ten inch his cock. Heidenreich looked on with much enjoyment.

What's better than one Elimination Tag match? A lot of things!...which includes TWO Elimination Tag matches! In this one, the team known as Three Hogans, One Cup will take on the other three members of Walter P. Wiley's WPW stable. After delivering a message filled of brothers and incoherent gibberish, WPW accepted the challenge of the Hogans...although nobody knows exactly if the Hogans were challenging them in the first place. Either way it's sure to be an interesting contest!

At Diaz's Fuck Fest VII, Winslow J. Wiley will defend the United States Championship against a man who opposes everything America stands for, Muhammad Hassan. Standing in as special guest referee will be a man who represents the typical American citizen (surly, angry, and drunk), "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.

D-Rob has been on a role as of late in an attempt to prove that he is the greatest Hardcore Champion of all time. This time around, D-Rob will be defending his title against the illegitimate son of Walter P. Wiley, DEFAULT, who wishes to get out of his father's shadow now more than ever. In recent weeks, the crowd has been solidly behind DEFAULT rather than D-Rob, much to the apparent dismay of the reigning champion. But come Diaz's Fuck Fest, fan support will have nothing to do with it. Can D-Rob grab the DEFAULT by the horns and retain his Hardcore title?

Diaz's Fuck Fest VII will open this year with a classic Random Battle Royal, featuring six opponents chosen at random. The winner will receive random prize, ranging from a World title shot to a piece of chewed up bubblegum. Also, be on the lookout for a man in a gorilla suit walking through the ring during the middle of the match and riding away on a motorcycle.

At the Crown Rock of Sports Entertainment, JBL has promised to make a major announcement. Many have speculated what this could be. Will he be introducing Bland Blueberry as the new flavor of his lackluster energy drink? Will he reveal his new brand of dog food, Jibbles and Bits? Or will he simply pretend to ride a horse around the ring?