In My Ass (2015)

In My Ass 2015 was the fifth edition of the annual In My Ass event, held on May 31, 2015. The show was highlighted by The Rock defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Dynamite Derek, Chris Jericho battling The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell match, and J-Pac putting his career on the line against Sheamus in a Submission match.

Background
For the past year, The Rock had been faced with two challenges: overcoming the torment of Ricardo Diaz and becoming World Heavyweight Champion. At Diaz's Fuck Fest XI, he overcame both obstacles and ended the grand event holding the golden strap high above his head. As the firework smoke has settled, it's back to work with newly-appointed SvR06 Commissioner Triple H at the helm. The former stepfather of Charles Barkley graciously accepted his new position, going as far to say that there may even be a spot for the former commissioner in Upper Management when they release him from the hospital. His attention was soon turned to the title, however, and determining a new challenger for the coveted championship. Would it be the man who seemingly sent J-Pac packing, Sheamus? Or perhaps Money in the Bank holder Wing? Before a decision could be made, The Rock took the opportunity to voice his opinion. As not only the World Champion but the People's Champion, the Brahma Bull felt that it should be left for the people to decide. The Rock said that as champion, he wanted to face the best. And according to the people, the best man for the job was the uncrowned champion Dynamite Derek. Triple H attempted to talk the Great One out of his decision, going as far to suggest Upper Management's exclusive commentator William Regal as an opponent. But The Rock was unwavering, and sealed his title shot with a handshake between he and the Explosive Broseph. Triple H coldly told Dynamite Derek that he didn't have what it took to be World champion, but the cuckold vigilante responded by assuring him that his mind would be changed after In My Ass.

At the eleventh installment of the Fest, Chris Jericho looked to force The Undertaker into bequeathing him the title of Phenom. Despite his best efforts, Y2J fell to a symbolic Tombstone Piledriver. While dwelling on defeat, Jericho's mindset has seemingly drifted into it's darkest corner. He admitted that he couldn't prove to be the true Phenom through victory. However, he concluded that the only way to solidify his ascension to that throne was to destroy the seemingly-immortal Undertaker once and for all. Jericho promised that he would send the Demon of Death Valley to Hell where he belongs. Undertaker answered this challenge by simply telling his adversary that both of them will be going to Hell, but only one will be coming back. It was then that the Deadman unveiled the structure that would contain the two mortal enemies at In My Ass: Hell in a Cell. Can Chris Jericho put an end to the legendary reaper or will Undertaker once again put Y2J in the ground? Both will enter the demonic structure at In My Ass, but one of them will likely not reemerge.

After spending the past year of his career haunted by defeat, J-Pac looked to turn the tide at Diaz's Fuck Fest with a victory over Sheamus. Unfortunately, the Infinity Kid failed. In the weeks since, the 4-time champion has been silent on the matter. Conversely, Sheamus hasn't stopped bragging about validating the Irish Curse he's left J-Pac stricken with. According to him, beating his opponent so badly that he seemingly left the ring for the final time was more satisfying than winning the World title back would have been. It was at this point that J-Pac resurfaced, telling Sheamus that he knows he can beat him. J-Pac acknowledged that despite his moniker of Infinity Kid, he couldn't keep the Celtic Warrior down for a three count. However, his confidence in believing he could defeat his white whale lead him to issue a challenge for a Submission match at In My Ass. Sheamus accepted, but on one condition. When J-Pac tells the referee that he quits, he'll relinquishing more than just the match. If J-Pac loses, he must leave SvR06. J-Pac agreed to this stipulation, admitting that he didn't want to be here if he couldn't put Sheamus through the physical equivalent of the agony he has endured throughout the past year of his career. Will J-Pac finally earn redemption he's been seeking or will this inevitably be his final match?

At Diaz's Fuck Fest XI, The Wiley Family shared what was easily their proudest moment as a unit when they brought the United States and World Tag Team Championships into the possession of their house. Despite the fact that Walter was left without a title of his own, the trio of Wileys were satisfied with the results nonetheless. However, former United States Champion Kane Paul seemed to believe they had nothing to be celebratory about. The Upper Management member drew attention to the fact that not only did Winslow hold two belts, but that it was his overzealous actions that prevented the father and son combination of Walter and DEFAULT from becoming tag team champions. Kane felt that if the Wiley Family truly believed in fairness that Winslow would have no problem granting his brother Walter an opportunity at the United States Championship at In My Ass. Before Walter could share his thoughts on the matter, Winslow responded by telling the CEO that it was all for one and one for all in the Wiley Family. While Walter seemed conflicted, even not-so-subtly asking Winslow on occasion if he could hold his US gold to relieve him of the weight, the former commissioner told Kane Paul and the rest of Upper Management to stick it in their craw. With Walter rejecting this title opportunity, Kane Paul decided to enact his rematch clause for the title he unceremoniously lost at the Fest. Later in the week, however, Kane announced that he had stubbed his toe while getting out of bed and would be forced to place himself on the inactive roster to heal his wounds. With the title match already signed for the event, Paul felt he had no choice but to allow the number one contender for the championship take his place at In My Ass. The number one contender, as it would turn out, happened to be Walter P. Wiley. Once again, under reluctant circumstances, these two brothers will face off against each other at the In My Ass event. This time, the coveted United States Championship will be up for grabs between these mustached men. Can the two put their individual pride aside for the betterment of their family or will greed be their ultimate undoing?

Since winning the title in January, Mark Jindrak has proudly defended the Intercontinental Championship in some of the greatest will-testing battles and has established himself as the most enduring reigning champion. With this recent run of success, the Master of the Mark-Out has painted a massive target on his back and his title. One of the most recent competitors to set his sights on the prestigious Intercontinental gold was Rob Van Dam. RVD admitted that he dropped the ball in the Money in the Bank Ladder match, but issued a challenge to Jindrak as a means of getting back on the victory horse. Before the challenge could be answered, high high-flyer's former tag team partner "Macho Man" Randy Savage interrupted. Savage pointed out that not only did he actually win his match at the Fest, he's proven that he's better than RVD for the past year. With two potential opponents once again standing before him, Jindrak began to make his decision. It was then that Ben Unhinged joined the picture. Ben told Jindrak that he liked his work and would hate to have to dethrone him as Intercontinental Champion, but he wanted to make it clear to Macho Man that he wasn't through making sure he never held another title again. Never one to back down from any obstacle, the champion finally made his decision. He's defended his title against one man and even two men, but at In My Ass, Mark Jindrak has accepted the challenge of all three men. All four individuals have something to prove, but only one of them can make their statement by going home with the Intercontinental Title.

Wing took everyone by surprise when he became the man to seize the championship opportunity in this year's Money in the Bank Ladder match. The question is, when will The Watcher cash in his winnings? Potentially, this contract could ensure that neither Dynamite Derek nor The Rock leave In My Ass as the World Heavyweight Champion. However, if Wing has any intention of crashing the fight night for those two gladiators, he'll have to overcome another obstacle. Despite his best efforts, Razor Ramon failed to once again become Mr. Money in the Bank. Down but not out, The Bad Guy requested that Wing allow him one more chance to hold the golden opportunity in his hands for the second time. The Watcher ascended to his perch to contemplate his decision. After sitting the butt on the idea, Wing decided to do the honorable thing and grant Razor a chance to win his briefcase at In My Ass. The Bad Guy now has the opportunity to make good on being the only man to unsuccessfully cash in the briefcase. With this decision, Wing could possibly be giving up the biggest opportunity in his career. Hopefully, for his sake, it won't be a decision that he lives to regret.

In January's Laugh Like Pee-wee match, Reverend Drew saw to it that Big Show found himself over the top rope and out of the ring. Despite this undeniable feat of strength, and ignoring the fact that The Rock assisted, Big Show continued to be regarded as the greatest performer in Laugh Like Pee-wee history. The sinister minister decided to voice his displeasure by putting the Big Nasty Bastard's protege, Wrestler: Unstoppable, on the disabled list for the better part of past three months. At Diaz's Fuck Fest XI, Reverend Drew forced Big Show into becoming the world's largest member of the Church of Drewdaism. With the power of the giant now in his hands, the irreverent reverend could be potentially unstoppable in his own right. With his first task, Big Show has been ordered to square off against the man he mentored as a test of devotion to his new faith. With Big Show's morals tested more than ever, will he do what's right by his friend or by the institution that he has been shackled to? Tensions have been high between Royal Pains since the two failed in attempting to capture the Intercontinental Championship from Mark Jindrak. On top of that, The Kingpin felt ridiculed by Carlito after he and Jindrak knocked him back and forth like a beachball at the Fest. Nevertheless, the two have decided to look forward and prove that their team is as strong as ever by throwing their name back into the running for the World Tag Team Championship. Kicking off their quest for the titles, the dubious duo have issued an open challenge to any team that thinks they have what it takes to beat them. Win, lose, or draw, an opportunity like this could help elevate a lower tier team into the spotlight or allow a previously unseen collaboration to make its presence known. Whoever decides to take advantage of this open challenge, and what they will do with it, will be seen come In My Ass. Since opening its doors a year ago, Arrested Developmental has flourished and produced a fresh crop of talented competitors that will inevitably find themselves in high profile matches on the main roster for at least a month or so after their debut. The performances by these up-and-comers have turned so many heads that fans now chant about it rather than pay attention to the main shows. Many of the young hopefuls have high hopes and determination to seize golden opportunities upon their arrival on SvR06's illustrious roster. And then there's "Just" Christian. This former Good Hand Champion was the first to ever hold Arrested Developmental's workhorse title. Unfortunately, he has the dubious distinction of having the shortest reign because he's, well, just Christian. At In My Ass, "Just" Christian will hold claim to another first when he becomes the inaugural call-up from the developmental system. Will "Just" Christian sink or swim when he receives the opportunity to dive into a bigger pond? When asked this question, the new star said "Swim? When I went to summer camp, they taught all the kids how to swim. Except for me. They ran my trunks up the flagpole. Instead, I got to learn how to clean trays with Delores the lunch lady because I'm, well, just Christian." With confidence like that, how can "Just" Christian not succeed?

Results
The annual In My Ass event once again kicked off the SvR06 season, bigger and better than ever, this year when The Rock put the title of World Heavyweight Champion on the line against the audience-anointed uncrowned champion Dynamite Derek in what many considered to be the biggest championship match in history. But before that match could get underway, the preliminary events provided us with moments that are sure to shape the outcome of 2015.

Kicking things off in an exciting fashion, Mark Jindrak defended the Intercontinental Championship against not one, not two, but three opponents in a Fatal 4-Way match. “Macho Man” Randy Savage once again struggled with the task of fending off Ben Unhinged, as he did prior to the event at Macho Man Memorial Day Madness. This allowed RVD the opportunity to square off with the champion before his efforts were thwarted by his former Reefer Madness partner. Unfortunately for Ben Unhinged, his desire to get his hands on the Macho Man led to his downfall when Jindrak hit him with the Mark Out for the victory. Once again, the Master of the Mark-Out Moment has outdone himself. At this point, one has to wonder what it will take to bring an end to the storied Intercontinental title reign of Mark Jindrak.

Next, the first Arrested Developmental success story made his debut as “Just” Christian squared off against Chewbacca with his Shithouse teammate Jushin Tiger in tow. After spending a year developing his skills, one would think that Christian would have made the most of his opportunity to return to the main roster. However, his apparent lack of faith in himself saw the match end in a double countout. I guess that’s why they call him “Just” Christian.

After a year of consistent defeat, J-Pac looked to take one last shot at Sheamus in an effort to ward off the Irish Curse that his rival claimed to have placed on him over a year ago. To do this, the Infinity Kid agreed to put his career on the line in a grueling Submission match. For a majority of the physically-draining contest, it appeared that we were witnessing J-Pac’s swan song. That was until, with all the strength and willpower left within him, J-Pac applied a strategically-sound chinlock that ultimately forced Sheamus to submit. With his career preserved and the weight of his Celtic foe off his shoulders, J-Pac celebrated. Almost as soon as it began, the elation was cut short by the arrival of an animal standing across from him. This monster swiftly dismantled the fatigued J-Pac and flattened him in the middle of the ring. Although he won the match, this mauling left everyone wondering if Pac’s career was just brought to an end before their eyes. The vicious attack could be described as nothing other than a Shark attack.

After the horrific events that ensued just moments before, the event rolled on with the team of Royal Pains awaiting the answer to their open challenge. Initially, it appeared that Goldust was going to take on Carlito and The Kingpin on his own. He then stepped aside to reveal his partner, a newcomer known as Diamondust. The newly-formed team of the Dust Busters provided worthy opposition for the dysfunctional duo. In the early going, it appeared that Royal Pains had put their differences aside and were working as a cohesive unit. But after numerous failed attempts at putting away their opponents, frustration took hold. With an elbow to the afro, Diamondust covered Carlito to award the Dust Busters their first victory. In a fit of rage, Kingpin neglected to assist Carlito and stormed back through the curtain.

After losing to Reverend Drew, Big Show was reluctantly forced to join the Church of Drewdaism. As a devout member of the Drewish faith, the seven-footer was required to step into the ring with his student Wrestler: Unstoppable. The irreverent reverend ordered the thrashing of the Secret Agent Man from ringside, culminating with Unstoppable being planted into the mat with a devastating chokeslam. As Big Show began to go for the cover, Reverend Drew instructed him to cease and allow his opponent to cover him. Feeling as though he had no choice, Big Show allowed himself to be pinned by Wrestler: Unstoppable.

Following weeks of head games that culminated in the Phenom trapping Y2J inside the ominous structure at Macho Man Memorial Day Madness, the two bitter enemies entered Hell in a Cell with the goal of ensuring that the other wouldn’t be able to walk out on their own strength. Driving this mindset home, Jericho began the battle by dragging his thumb across his throat. With victory being the least of their concerns, Undertaker and Chris Jericho proceeded to batter and bloody each other in, out, and on top of the unforgiving Cell. After both individuals had repeatedly toppled off the structure, Undertaker launched Jericho through the chain-link ceiling with a devastating Last Ride. Back within the ring, the Deadman planted his adversary with a conclusive Tombstone Piledriver. To his surprise, Jericho managed to lift his shoulder up before the three count could be administered. As he lifted the Ayatollah for another, Undertaker found himself locked in the Walls of Jericho. In an attempt to free himself, his cold, dead hand found itself smacking the mat while crawling towards the ropes. At this point, the referee rang the bell and raised Jericho’s hand in victory by submission. However, many have suggested that Undertaker was grasping as opposed to tapping out. Albeit controversial, the record stands that Chris Jericho was the victor.

Kane Paul relinquished the opportunity to challenge for the United States Championship due to a stubbed toe and, as a result, Walter P. Wiley was named the number one contender for his brother’s title. The two were in the ring, set to face off with the belt up for grabs when Kane Paul interjected himself before the bell could sound. He informed them that he’d been trying to track them down all day to tell them that their title bout had been changed to a Triple Threat match. After Paul’s announcement had concluded, Batista made his way to the ring. Arrested Developmental’s former Main Event Champion proceeded to dominate the Wiley brothers before finally pinning Winslow to become the new United States Champion. With Batista’s association with Upper Management well documented, it’s clear that this was yet another message directed at DEFAULT.

Wing defeated three others in this year’s Money in the Bank Ladder match to capture the coveted championship contract. One of this year’s hopefuls was former holder of the briefcase, Razor Ramon. The Bad Guy holds the unfortunate honor of being the only individual to cash in the case and not leave as champion. Wing allowed him this opportunity to have a final more shot at redemption, but promised that it would be his one and only. Try as he might, Razor was unable to once again become the holder of the Money in the Bank briefcase. With the contract secured, Wing would head backstage to watch the upcoming match with great interest.

At The Game of Thrones, Dynamite Derek dethroned Sheamus as World Heavyweight Champion in an Iron Man match with mere seconds to spare. It was shortly thereafter that the decision was overturned due to circumstances surrounding the conclusion of the match. At Dr. Meinheimer, Derek was pinned by Sheamus and was barred from competing for the championship while the title was still in his possession. Now, six months later, Dynamite Derek finally had the opportunity to compete one-on-one with the title up for grabs. Only this time, he would be in the presence of Electric Company when he took on The Rock. Though the People’s Champion graciously allowed him this opportunity, he made good on his promise not to go easy on the Explosive Broseph. Derek’s resiliency saw him kick out of a Rock Bottom early into the marquee match-up, but it was when Dynamite refused to stay down following the People’s Elbow that the crowd ceased to be split even and unanimously got behind their hero. In disbelief at his determination, The Rock set his opponent up for a decisive Rock Bottom. In a flurry, Dynamite mounted a comeback and landed an explosive DKO on the Great One to finish him for the victory and the championship. As confetti reigned from the skies, The Rock handed Derek the title and raised his hand in victory. After months of fighting through adversity at the hands of a partial authority, Dynamite Derek officially proved Triple H wrong about not having what it took to be World Heavyweight Champion.