Laugh Like Pee-wee (2012)

Laugh Like Pee-wee 2012 was the third installment of the annual Laugh Like Pee-wee event, held on January 15, 2012. The show was highlighted by the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match, Perfect Ben defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Bret Hart with Commissioner Slaughter as guest referee, and Carlito putting the WWE Championship on the line against "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Background
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the official group of competitors slated to appear in the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match. Who will win the most star-studded Laugh Like Pee-wee match in history?

Bret Hart's investigation on who screwed him over at Dr. Meinheimer hasn't gone so well thanks to the incompetence of SvR06's detective team comprised of Heidenreich, Eugene, and Mike Knox. At Laugh Like Pee-wee, Bret will be getting a shot to once again obtain the World Heavyweight Championship against the man who pinned him for the vacant belt at Son of Jackass. To ensure that there will be no crooked officiating, Commissioner Slaughter has said that he will take the role of referee in this contest.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage has made it official that he will be using his title opportunity to challenge Carltio at Laugh Like Pee-wee, claiming that he's about as cool as the side of the pillow that isn't the other side. Macho then proceeded to spit Slim Jim into his face. Can Carlito have the same luck as he has lately when not facing a guy named Disco Drew, RVD, or Ultimate Warrior?

As 30 combatants will be battling it out for a guaranteed spot in the main event of Diaz's Fuck Fest VIII, these two former champions will go head to head at Laugh Like Pee-wee to finally settle the score over who the true warrior is. To sweeten the deal, the winner is guaranteed a title opportunity at the following event. The Ultimate Warrior vs. The Chronic Warrior. Speed and strength clashes with weed and dank.

Al Snow managed to become the Intercontinental Champion at Boggle?! when he defeated Stone Cold and four other opponents in a battle royal. At Laugh Like Pee-wee, Snow will put his newly won title on the line against Austin, Earthquake, and Eugene. Stone Cold was not very pleased when he found out that this would mean he would have to sit out the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match. Take a wild guess what face he made when he made this discovery.

After the Hogans were stripped of the WWE Tag Team titles by Commissioner Slaugther, a 16-team tournament was held to determine who the new champions will be. The finals came down to the duos of Big Show and Rey Mysterio (collectively known as Show, Rey, Mi) and D-Machine members Mark Jindrak and Dr. Death. At Laugh Like Pee-wee, the teams will go head to head with the vacant titles up for grabs. It should also be noted that if Dark Dynamite Derek even thinks of attempting to interfere in this contest, he will lose his spot in the Laugh Like Pee-wee match.

Results
The show kicked off with the vacant WWE Tag Team Championship on the line, as Show, Rey, Mi took on D-Machine members Dr. Death and Mark Jindrak. Although nobody in the match seemed to be working together well, Big Show and Rey Mysterio managed to pick up the win and the titles.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage challenged Carlito for the WWE Championship, after earning a shot at the belt last month. After the two took turns spitting apple and Slim Jim into each other's faces, the two battled it out in a competitive showing. However, Carlito managed to pick up the win and hold on to the belt.

Al Snow took on the likes of Eugene, Earthquake, and former champion "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in his first Intercontinental title defense. Eugene kicked things off with the early advantage, delivering a wedgie to everyone inside including the referee. Despite this, Earthquake managed to to flatten Eugene like a pancake and leave the new Intercontinental Champion.

In the Clash of the Warriors, RVD battled it out with Ultimate Warrior to determine once and for all who the superior warrior was. Commissioner Slaughter named "Little Warrior" Paul London the guest enforcer of the match. Although Ultimate Warrior took him in as his own, London remembered that RVD supplied his weed and helped him defeat the Ultimate One.

As he was already guest referee for the contest, Commissioner Slaughter ordered that the World title match would be made a Last Man Standing match. As Bret Hart appeared to have the early advantage over Perfect Ben, Slaughter grabbed Hart's steel chair and clocked him with it. Slaughter quickly counted Hart out, proudly handing the title to its current owner.

Backstage, the Hogans were seen debating over an unknown subject. A Hoganese-speaking translator was brought in to decipher the conversation. Apparently, the Hogans each felt that they should be the man to pick number 30 and win the Pee-wee. Due to their bickering, the Hogans apparently missed their opportunity to participate in the Laugh Like Pee-wee match.

In the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match, Dark Dynamite Derek had the misfortune of drawing number one. As everyone patiently awaited the second entrant, a cryptic video played signifying "reemergence". To everyone's surprise, a cape and cowl sporting Dynamite Derek walked through the curtain. As if this wasn't shocking enough, the likes of Saba Simba and Junkyard Dog made unexpected appearances throughout the course of the match. In the end, it came down to the unlikely combination of Undertaker, Mankind, DEFAULT, and Snitsky. Undertaker was first to fall, followed by DEFAULT's godfather Mankind. The battle scarred Snitsky attempted to hang on, but DEFAULT got the best of him, hitting him with the Funny-5. DEFAULT proceeded to toss the Herpe-Having Hellion over the top rope and to the floor to win the third annual Laugh Like Pee-wee.